do you ever stop loving someone

RELATED: 10 Signs A Person Is Incapable Of Loving Someone. “Only then can we see our ex as a person we esteem and admire.” Dr. Brown says achieving this kind of relationship — a platonic friendship with admiration and respect — might take awhile. “The fire seems to have gone out,” says Dr. Brown. I was in a 3 year relationship up until 6 months ago. You can start losing feelings for someone, but you cannot just randomly stop loving someone. Falling out of love is made all the more difficult when your goals and future were centered around your relationship. Human nature and just how we are all wired. Optimism is powerful but sometimes it helps to be critical so we can see exactly why our love didn’t work out. This process can be painful. Breakups, divorce, or even death cannot destroy this kind of love. Love is an emotion that’s difficult to explain and even more difficult to control. That’s OK. Your relationship might be long over, but that doesn’t always mean you’ve fallen out of love. Relationships are complicated. Breaking up with someone doesn't mean that you will stop being in love with them. But do it genuinely for your own good and follow these steps on how to stop loving someone. Yes, it is possible to stop loving someone for no reason other than that over time you've fallen out of love with the person they are and the relationship no longer delivers the joy, fulfillment and shared support that it once did. “This will especially be true if the breakup was not mutual, and if it wasn’t, it may not be possible to transition into a platonic relationship at all.”. Realizing that something wasn’t meant to be won’t happen overnight, nor will it instantly cure your emotions, but it’s an important step in moving forward. You have been blessed with the power to love others and should embrace this, carry it into new connections, and form a love deeper and stronger than you’ve experienced before. We have had a lot of problems throughout the relationship, including heartbreaks and cheating from both sides. Your feelings may change (or fade) over time as you learn how to get over them, but it's doubtful that you will ever completely stop loving them. It took me 40 years, but it finally happened. Remember this and acknowledge that the love you’re trying to control might just be in the process of reshaping itself into a platonic love. This resentment can result in a lack of attraction. And ultimately, all of these factors can lead to falling out of love. Loving someone when things are rainbows and happy faces is the easy part. Are we missing our ex, or is this a disguise for some deeper pain? “This is a compassionate, human type of love.”, According to Winter, romantic love is tricky, because even if the breakup was painful, you might still find yourself desiring your ex. The love you feel toward this person is still there. Time just has to go by and eventually, (it could be years later) you realize that you are no longer in love. If your dearest one left you it doesn’t mean he or she stopped loving you. Please read before you answer: I broke up with a guy a week ago, who I've been in an intense relationship with for a year and 3 months. If you truly loved someone, do you ever stop loving them? Focus on the present and recognize the reason why your relationship cannot flourish at this time. You might also find yourself in an unhealthy relationship that needs to end, or have suddenly caught feelings for someone you shouldn’t be in love with but you just can’t seem to ditch your emotions. Take care of your physical appearances and try to be happy as much as you can after getting over with the tears session as you read above. Maybe you had a parent, close family member, or friend who left your life in a painful way. No one can help someone fall out of love. ive never been in love so.. im just my rational perspective. She was my first love. And we are super weird too :) I see you and I have these 1000 tiny butterflies in my stomach. When you try to stifle love, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Encouragement. Time. But there are things you can to process your emotions and move to a less painful place with your love. Of course, there might be other things at play here, and sometimes our reasons for still being in love with someone are signs of some deeper emotional issues. Not the same intense love you felt while you were together. You don’t have to pursue friendship with someone you still care for if it’s going to be too painful. And what’s more, I do believe it’s impossible for a person to stop loving, a human heart just was not made that way. Can we control it and cause it to dissipate when we need it to? Often, when we look past our relationships, we find a truth that was lying within us the whole time. I know i have experienced that & when you run in to that true love again, you will see that it never ends. How could you ever stop loving your soulmate? Going from being in love with someone and planning a future together, to what can feel like a “less significant,” friendly relationship can be extremely painful — even impossible for most exes. If you have been unable to stop loving far beyond a relationship’s end, you mustn’t judge yourself negatively. Love is stubborn and sometimes it sticks around for a lot longer than it should. You may have even been the one doing the breaking up and now you’re left worrying that you acted too rashly or have made a mistake. Yes we move on & live our lives but no i don't believe you ever stop loving them. RELATED: The 5 Most Common Reason Men Fall Out Of Love With Their Wives. In time, you will be able to look back on your relationship with fondness. We often hear that love conquers all, but is it possible for us to conquer love? But being unable to stop loving someone isn’t always a bad thing. Despite everything, we have somehow stayed together. Recently I have been thinking I might still love him a bit, the good parts about him anyway. You don’t see anything special about your partner. What you need to do is get your shit together. This love can reshape and change, and become a comforting force. “This is perfectly normal and natural,” says Dr. Brown. Ask A Dating Question - https://datinglogic.net/ask-a-question/ Answer A Dating Question - https://datinglogic.net/forums/forum/qa/ You don’t always get to choose how your relationship ends, and sometimes it can come totally out of left-field. When you’re in love with someone, you’re probably not thinking about when or how you’re going to fall out of love. You’ve invested time and energy into a relationship that ultimately didn’t give you what you needed, so it’s easy to feel disillusioned by your ex. You might not realize the relationship has run its course until after the dust settles and you find yourself unhappy, asking yourself whether you can actually stop being in love with someone. Do you ever stop loving someone 100%? I'm 16, and me and my boyfriend of a year broke up in May. It’s a beautiful thing. The short answer? And even if you do still have love for them, it’s OK to say goodbye for good. Support wikiHow by unlocking this staff-researched answer. “You can have loving feelings for someone long after you’ve chosen to not be in a relationship with them,” Susan Winter, an NYC-based relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. And the only way for you to do that is for you to accept you were wrong. My ex girlfriend (age 22) and I (23m) fell in love in high school. Here we have a change of relationships and not a change in the heart. It’s possible that you put aside your own aspirations, plans, and maybe even social ties in order to focus on your relationship. “What we see with our eyes more wide open, and how we deal with what we see in our partner, is now going to determine the viability of the relationship.”. I truly believe you never stop loving that person, the person you felt true love for. Love doesn’t always go away just because we want it to. Tap into your personal ambitions and make some plans for your future. In these situations, we often hold on to love in the hopes that if we continue to blame ourselves, things might change and we will be able to reconcile with our exes. love is a concept. It’s when things get really shitty is when that makes loving someone hard. But in certain situations, stopping yourself from loving someone is next to impossible. “You can have loving feelings for someone long after you’ve chosen to not be in a relationship with them,” Susan Winter, an NYC-based relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. If you feel this strongly about someone, it never changes. you can stop liking someone. That’s the worst time to get dumped, by the way. Are you idealizing a relationship that was full of flaws? © 2021 by Tango Media Corporation All Rights Reserved. You have the choice to keep the fire and passion burning, or go ahead and accept that your feelings are already fading. According to Dr. Brown, these feelings can range from “apathy, to confusion, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or relief if you’ve known for a while that the relationship is not right.” Maybe your busy schedules are making it impossible to spend time together, and when you do have the time, you’d rather be alone or with someone else. RELATED: I Didn't Stop Loving You, I Just Decided To Stop Showing It. See also: ... Don’t ever be harsh on yourself. So it is certainly possible to stop loving someone the agape way, replacing it with only erotic love or plain selfishness. If the person you're trying to stop loving is someone that you've relied heavily on in the past for emotional support, find a different friend to help fill that role. You can grow to have a love for someone without being in love with them. How do you stop loving someone who no longer loves you back? so i don't why you cant stop loving someone... i think it's possible. I'm 21, he is my "first" real bf.. my first love, first everything. But even if you can’t entirely stop loving someone who doesn’t love you or who’s caused you … “Sooner or later, there is going to be a period where we transition into real love based upon the understanding that our partner is, indeed, not perfect… nor is even the best of partners,” says Dr. Brown. And they can be hard but if you truly love someone and they truly love you, some how they will always come back. Alice Kelly is a writer with a passion for lifestyle, entertainment, and trending topics. 10 Signs A Person Is Incapable Of Loving Someone, The 5 Most Common Reason Men Fall Out Of Love With Their Wives, If someone does not love you or want to be with you, I Didn't Stop Loving You, I Just Decided To Stop Showing It, 10 Signs He's A Genuinely Nice Guy, Not A Jerk, These 4 Behaviors Cause 90% Of All Divorces, What The 'Perfect' Mistress Looks Like (According To Men), How To Know (For SURE) If A Man Wants To Be With You. Falling in love with someone you can't have can seriously affect your self-esteem and self-confidence. How can you possibly stop loving someone when you never saw your life without them in it? Without condition means no matter what. And in most cases, if you still have romantic feelings toward them — no matter the reason for your breakup — a platonic relationship is unlikely. Even though the relationship ended on not so good terms (he was a year older than me, and found a girl his age), I only wanted him to be happy so I let him go. Soo quick story. Even though you’re are no longer together you still feel a closeness, a bond and a connection to them. It’s easy to over-idealize your partner during this time, but once you get past the gloss and start experiencing life together — and all the good and not-so-good it brings — that excitement and newness can begin to fade. Decide this very moment you no longer need your ex, because the fact is you don’t. Though the breakup might be agonizing at first, love is an important part of the healing process so you can acknowledge you and your partner’s needs for separation. In this case, refusing to let go of love is causing a self-deprecating sorrow that only stops us from recognizing the finality of a breakup. Residual feelings can stick with us, leaving us regretting a breakup or struggling to move on. You’re probably thinking about how cute your partner is, or about the date you’re planning for your anniversary, or how dreamy their voice sounds when they first wake up in the morning. When it comes to not loving someone any longer, all you can do is go through it, believe your feelings for them will never change, and then watch in wonder as time passes and they finally do. “In general, there is that delicious period where we fall in love with our partner,” Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples’ therapist in Los Angeles, tells Elite Daily. You are only human, and you don’t heal as easily as you’d like. I think you never stop loving a version of a person. Love is sacrifice and suffering, it’s not butterflies and romance - it’s being willing to give your everything and expect nothing in return. Whatever it is, focusing on yourself will allow you to grow from your relationship and channel your love into your own needs. But there comes a time when this loves suck out all your energy. I am falling in love and I don’t want to fly I just want to love you. While you may not have chosen it, relationship breakdown is an opportunity to get in touch with yourself. But a love that feels comfortable when you remember the time together. He was my first love, and I really did love him so much. How do you stop loving someone? It is quite possible that love for you is still there. If you were, you’d be there with them. These 10 quotes will make you stop loving someone who doesn’t love you. Love is free-flowing; at any given moment you can love many people at once: your friends, family and partner. Look at the reality of the situation. Often, the end of a relationship brings on a painful grieving process — not only for the relationship itself, but for the life you envisioned for yourself with your ex. If you are able to love and stop loving it means your love is conditional. But falling out of love doesn’t mean you and your ex have to go your separate ways forever. “The reasons we do may be based upon physical attraction, qualities we see that we really like about them, and the promise that this person is or may be your ‘soulmate.’” Dr. Brown says this period of falling in love (otherwise known as the aforemetnioned “honeymoon phase”) can last from a few weeks to a few years. But if they evolve and turn into someone who you no longer recognize, then I believe you stop loving THAT person, but you will always love the original identity they had when you two met. Falling out of love can be really overwhelming. This can cause you to overthink and analyze every aspect of your relationship, instead of realizing that some things just aren’t meant to be. Obviously, you should get rid of these feelings as soon as possible. If you are talking about a romantic relationship, I don't think you ever do stop loving someone.The love can change forms however - it can change from romantic love to loving the endearing qualities a person has, or loving the time you spent together. But the end of the honeymoon phase isn’t a death sentence for your relationship. The important thing is that you feel comfortable in whatever relationship — or lack of relationship — you have with your ex. This can teach us to hold on to love in the hopes of reconciliation when, in reality, it's better to let go. Self-examination allows us to recognize what exactly we’re holding onto. Not being able to be friends with an ex is far from a failure. For some, switching feelings off is as simple as turning off a light switch. Humans. If someone does not love you or want to be with you, then it’s best for you to move on. There are a few reasons you're finding it difficult to stop loving someone. Loving someone is the most beautiful feeling in this world. Learn to walk away from toxic relationship. She's super outgoing and super personable. “You just don’t feel attracted to them anymore. However, when you’re head over heels loving someone, it means you know when to let them go and be where they’re most happy. But in certain situations, stopping yourself from loving someone is next to impossible. Your past relationships may have left you with a fear of abandonment or rejection, meaning you cling to love instead of accepting that you have enough love within yourself to not need a relationship for fulfillment. Perhaps you’re fighting on the reg — so much, that you feel yourself growing bitter toward them. We cannot change our pasts, but we do have the power to shape our futures. You feel unhappy, dissatisfied with yourself, and even depressed. You neither feel respect nor gratitude for them.” All of this can cause you to crave single life, or a relationship with a different partner. Yes it can happen, but maybe you will not stop loving them, both is ok.. you will, however, be able to stop thinking so much about them and let it be past and still live in the present You may want your ex more than you’ve ever wanted anything else, but you don’t need him or her. If you want to unlove someone, you need to stop thinking about the question: “How to stop loving someone?” and focus on things that make you feel good about yourself! This is because true love can be eternal. “Platonic love comes after the physical desire has been removed,” says Winter. You’re not in love. Commit yourself to looking forward and get excited about your life again. You don’t always get to decide who you fall in love with. until humanity dies off, love can't stop. Definitely, and you can start to notice these changes after the honeymoon phase is over. When she dumped me, I was still in love with her, and I thought there was nothing wrong with her. There is no definitive way to close off our emotions and stop love in its tracks (at least not that I know of, though I'm open to suggestions). This is because true love can be eternal. You can use this to feel empowered by your past relationship without longing to get back together. It’s how you adjust to life together that determines whether or not you’ll work out long-term. Though it might be painful at first, reimagining your life without someone can liberate you from a relationship that was holding you back. In some cases, friendship isn’t totally off the table. We ended up in normal ex terms: not good, but not bad either. Ask a friend if you can reach out to him or her when you get the urge to talk to the person you're trying to avoid. The only One who will continually love someone, no matter what is God. You feel good about having them with you, and you don’t ever want to say goodbye. Do you ever stop? When you feel affection for someone, you want them around all the time. Perhaps there’s some self-discovery you need to be doing in order to understand why you hold onto love, maybe you need to practice more self-love to overcome your fear of rejection, or maybe you just simply need to take this time to hang out with friends and reconnect with family. Ah, your first love: that special someone who stole your heart first, and if you're being fully honest with yourself, probably still has it. Dr. Gary Brown, Los Angeles couples' therapist, Susan Winter, NYC-based relationship expert, This article was originally published on July 27, 2017, you can actually stop being in love with someone. We are going to tell you what to do in order to get over your unrequited love and start living a new life without the object of your passion. If you ever think about him, then take only negative and bad things that make you hate him easily. It's unlikely that you will stop loving someone just because you broke up. Holding on to a love lost can limit you and stop you from making new goals. And that moment is both very sad and very freeing. Stopping yourself from loving the person you “truly love” is possible, but the choice to take this course is still in your hands. Sometimes our inability to move on is our soul telling us that we need to look into ourselves and address our pasts. My point is that when you start loving someone, you don’t stop. Agape way, replacing it with only erotic love or plain selfishness death can not our... Difficult to stop loving it means your love is made all the difficult. A lack of attraction allow you to do is get your shit together someone... 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